Introduction: This may be the most controversial lyric I’ve written. What you’re going to read here (I hope) is considerably refined from the first draft of a song I conceived at the start of what Lerner & Lowe called “the merry month of May” in their wonderful musical Camelot.” I noticed the fascinating connection between the name Gina and the same four letters, pronounced with a long “i” that end a word that begins “va.” A state representative — I believe in Michigan — was outraged when she spoke it during debate over legislation, and on orders from the leader of that legislative body ordered it “stricken from the record” as though she had never said it. I am often amazed by how casually some people express obscenities and obscene slang — especially on Facebook — and beyond (in REAL LIFEville) and people don’t seem to mind. I mind. I never share obscene language because I think language matters. So you can just imagine my surprise at the reaction of four male friends who had come together at a plastic model club meeting May 14 when I sang the lyric you’re about to read (I hope).
I was advised that if I sang this song at an open mic coming up in about a week, every “feminist” in the audience would assault me with instruments capable of inflicting great pain and permanent damage — and I don’t mean with acoustic banjos. My friends loved the melody but considered the lyric needlessly inflammatory; suggested I write another lyric for such a nice melody. One of the friends e-mailed me later, saying he’d like me to teach him how to play the tune on guitar. I don’t understand why the lyric created this reaction. I believe the word “vagina” is healthier than the word “fuck.” In my song you never find the word “vagina;” you find the word “gina” / “Gina” often, and every time you encounter it, you should pronounce it as “Geena” or “Jeena.” I hope after reading the lyric you will comment with your opinion WHY I SHOULD NOT sing the song (I will NOT sing the song if there are young ladies — younger than 16 years old, say, in the audience. If I see any, I won’t even mention this song) and if you feel the lyric is tolerable, please tell me why you think it’s tolerable and should be shared with mature people. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Gina. . . . .
by Job Conger
written May 9, 2014
I have found a woman who
Makes me happy when I’m blue.
Her sweet voice is angel song.
Heaven sent, she came along.
Through romantic, moonlit nights,
We share healthy appetites,
And her wondrous gift to me
Thrills like no one’s before.
. . . . . . . . . . . Gina with a lovely va
. . . . . . . . . . . Gina — how she charms and delights me
. . . . . . . . . . . When she smiles and invites me.
. . . . . . . . . . . Gina! I dream of her va
. . . . . . . . . . . Gina comes from South Carolina.
. . . . . . . . . . . How I love her warm embrace
During younger years of this life I’ve led
I was seldom slow to share my bed.
Had my hopes and played the games —
A litany of joys and shames —
Never lasting and incomplete
Silent dawns and chilly feet.
Those sad days are ancient history.
She is the cat’s meow, WOW!
Gina is my Juliet.
I’m her Romeo, you bet.
Star-blessed tunes of love combine.
Cosmic symphonies entwine.
Rhythm of our rapture sweet
Breathe the roses, feel the heat.
Wait a minute . . . . what’s going on here?
SHUCKS! I was only dreaming . . . about
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Thanks for reading this post.
Live long . . . . . . and proper.