HOT NEWS FLASH for those who thought swine flu originated in Mexico, that pigs cause it and calling the horrible disease H1N1 would make Easterners love Westerners: The sun does not revolve around the planet Earth, there is no Peter Cotton Tail hoppin’ down the bunny trail, and your world is not flat, no matter what your religion says. While this news comes as a shock — less so to Honey & Quinine readers I hope — to many who take issue with such revelations, they remain true. Also true is that swine flu by any other name is still swine flu. Don’t blame me.
Blame us.
The great American men and women of porcine proclivities, who raise pigs on large farms where most of the inhabitants’ (owners and operators generally excepted) feces and urine fill large ponds have proven less concerned with causing their neighbors to wretch from the stench of it all and the harm they are causing to the subterranean water supply than they are about the evil term “swine flu” inhibiting their sales of “the other white meat.” The term “swine flu” was also declared “OFFENSIVE” to our religious brothers and sisters who don’t believe in Pork. If it were named cow flu, the Hindi would be wailing at the World Health Organization for insulting the sacred four-legged bovines who roam their streets at will. The very public attempt by nervous Westerners who have witnessed the cost of scorn directed East, to atone for the heartless disconsideration of the Mighty OFFENDED united as bretheren and sistern in vociferous opposition to a NAME has come to (almost) nothing and gladly so. If humanity were as collectively adept at working together as we are at working against each other, we might still be in Eden . . . . . or at least Tahiti.
H1N1 has not been embraced by the public. The news media in its many forms have come up short in their vital role as “Messengers of the Peeved” in setting the record straight for the insensitive unholy masses of us. It’s about time!
Bravo the media for opting out of the frenzy!
In the few reports I’ve heard in the last week or so, the terms swine flu and H1N1 have been used interchangably, often in the same sentences. A fictional example similiar to what I’ve heard:
Physicians have declared swine flu a world pandemic in their efforts to arrest H1N1′s spread in Asian countries, though swine flu cases resported in the US are in decline.
Ah, the curious antic of pleasing everyone and pleasing no one at the same time. Ain’t the languidge bootyfull?
We’re almost back to calling Native Americans “Indians” again. And if you don’t like it, don’t blame me, and don’t blame Shawn Hannity.
Blame PBS.
But that’s another story.
Live long . . . . . . and proper.



