Chex Mix Traditional is part of a tray of candy bars, gum and salty snacks that serves hungry employees with 75 cents and time on their hands. For me, on more than one occasion, it has been my breakfast which I almost never eat at home. In the course of getting to understand the chemistry and dynamic of the consumption of Chex Mix optimized for maximum satisfaction, I’ve concluded that like any tasty pleasure (dinner and making whoopee come to mind) sequence is everything. Before desert, the foreplay as someone must have once said.
First priority for me when considering the contents of a Chex Mix packet spread out on a plate at my office desk is to lose the frikking pretzels, both forms: the ovals and the squares. They must be separated from the rest because they just don’t look particularly appetizing, and they’re easier to eat when they’re easier to reach and ingest in multiples.
Next comes the sliced dried bread. Today’s bag included three dark grain and five white grain. These are the toughest “chews” in the bag, and must be eliminated (by consuming) early in the game as we build to the eagerly anticipated ecstasy coming up fast, especially when you’re really hungry. And if I wasn’t really REALLY hungry this morning, I dang sure wouldn’t be munching Chex Mix.
There are five or six things which, when placed horizontally on the paper, look like squiggely em-dashes. I don’t know what they are, but if they were brown with salt grains and straight, I’d call them pretzel sticks. But they’re whitish, and a little denser than pretzels. They are next down the hatch.
The point of all the initial messing with the previous “endurables” is to get to the point of the process: the CHEX. They loook like the same Chex in their excellent Wheat and Corn Chex, but they seem smaller and have absolutely no distinct flavors of their own despite differing colors of brown and a yellow ochre. This is an ecstasy of texture shared by teeth and tongue. Describing the FLAVOR in the Chex Mix breakfast experience is like describing the sound of a HUM. This is in marked contrast to most dinners and all the making whoopie I’ve enjoyed. Even so, the Chex Mix breakfast experience is a significant part of my mornings, occasionally, thanks in part to sensible sequencing. There is a place for each element to be savored to the max, and I consider it absolutely essential for maximum satisfaction. At the conclusion, you will be satisfied. And when it comes to Chex, sex and a good meal, that’s what make makes the effort so worthwhile, don’t you think?
Love long . . . . . and proper.