Not yet confirmed, and maybe just a rumor, President #43, backed up by boy toy Pepe Lebbamain ordered a pre-emptive strike against the Democratic National Committee early Monday with the goal of “liberation of the minds of millions sufferin’ under the tyranny of cocka-maymie socialis tinclinations. The seclarity of our nation is at risk.,” the predecessor to #44 said. ”This is a bad time; baaad time, and a time to taken serisly.” The president said the unprecedented action was his gift from his heart to his friends on the wrong side of the aisle in Congress: a chance to “get right with Jesus” before November 4.
20th century historians have noted that while many consider the spiritual icon of Christian believers the first socialist, others point out that when the “Son of Man” was in big trouble or wanted to make a really groovy impression, he turned not to Rome in the West, but to his Father, who is in heaven. Asked if such “get right” goals were his hopes as well, Lebbamain said, “Like any real American, I support the principle. How we execute it is not my department. That part is all semantics was far as I’m concerned.” A growing number of anti-semantists have outspokenly spoken out against the Lebbamain’s logic.
DNC leaders have been evacuated to “undisclosed locations,” presumably the last place un-convicted Republicans and their acolytes would go to look for them. Reports of a surge in room service orders for Brie and Chablis in hotels in and near Juneau remain unconfirmed.
Former folk singer Bob Dylan was a prophet before his time when in the mid-60s he wrote and sang, “You better start swimmin’ or you’ll sink like a stone, for the times, they are a changin’.” This blogger notes that experience has taught that relaxing, extending arms and legs and facing the sky will also prevent most real Americans from sinking like stones as well.
Stay tuned to this blog for additional details as they become available.
Live long . . . . . . . . and proper.
