Proof to the Publisher

My experience with United Parcel pickup today convinced me that “Brown” doesn’t signify their pickup and delivery trucks; it signifies the color of the residue passed through the body after a cheap dinner; the color I will forever connect to their pickup and delivery driver I call Truck Smarm Fellow. Surly and unprepared is the nutshell review of that unhappy encounter.

Gold is the color I connect to the courteous fellow with the Minnesota-settler-kin last name who greeted me at the UPS Wide Track Drive headquarters office on Springfield’s southeast side where I dashed following Truck Smarm Fellow’s departure. Thanks to HIM, I will use UPS again, but I’ll deliver it to their Wide Track address. If I MUST use pickup, I will insist on Fed Ex.

I wanted to send my corrected proof back to UPS as soon as possible. I tried for Tues, but I subbed Wednesday, and that shot my attitude toward life in general to the extent I was in no mood to finish fact checking at the library Tuesday night. So I declined the call from the sub teacher line this morning and the day cost me abour $100 to be so fragile in the attitude department. It was worth it. Besides finishing my work of correcting typos, answering copy editor’s questions, slightly rewriting some phrases and substituting a few photos and captions, my visit to the Sangamon Valley Collection allowed me to clarify the spelling of a major airport shaker and mover and G.W. Townsley who once owned half of a Ny-Day Messenger, an early 30s lightplane. Then I had to copy every page that had my proof reading notes on it. I did this at Capitol Blueprint — great fellows all, 61 pages of copies.

The pain came at lunch. All I had in the HOUSE were a can of Campbell’s Chicken Mushroom soup, a fresh jar of Peter Pan Crunchy, most of a vending machine bag of Doritos saved from yesterday’s sub teaching lunch and iced tea. So that’s what I had for lunch. A knife of Crunchy was dessert. This is life on my high side of the hog. Last January, lunch would have been six slices of Bunny whole wheat and Imperial margarine and coffee and I would have considered myself blessed . . . . . as I consider myself blessed every day I put my feet into my shoes.

Only when everything was checked and double checked, about 1p, did I call UPS. I then could not leave my office so I could hear him arrive. DANG! He came about 3, we had our little encounter of the “never again” kind and I drove out to the UPS HQ for salvation via an excellent front counter man.

EXCELLENT. My spirits were cloud-high, so I stopped by Shop’N'Save where I learned after carting a modest array to the check-out that my check would not clear. Suddenly I felt like someone who you don’t want to trust with silverware or loose change in plain sight. So I deposited a check from someone who had bought a cast-off from me last week, found out why my check had not cleared S’N'S and took some cash for even more modest shopping in a few minutes at County Market.

Then I came home and let my editor know the tracking number of my proof shipment. In the arrived e-mail was contact with Arcadia’s sales department with a ballpark idea of when my book will hit the bookstores. It’s all tentative now, so I can’t tell you even a ballpark date . . . . . yet. I will when I can. I’m delighted they’re so with me.

Another milestone in the saga of aspiring kid writer.

Live long . . . . and proper.