How to Fix Illegal Immigration

Did you see Meet The Press today? Pat Buchanan, whom I’ve always thought makes Genghis Khan look like George McGovern, said all the correct words regarding the fatally flawed, and fatally flogged immigration bill returning to the Congress this week after #43’s belated blessing, a/k/a kiss of death. Buchanan was seated next to a proponent of the bill, Luis Guiterrez, chair of the Congressional caucus that, like the wolf chair of the chicken coop caucus, is perhaps equally predictable in his oratory. The Buch-meister did his cause no service with his incessant interrupting of Guiterrez as the gentleman shared exceptionally well-reasoned, calmly timbred responses to moderator Tim Russert’s questions. Mother Theresa probably would not have shown the same courtesy and control over impulses reacting to a political adversary. Buchanan behaved like a disenfranchised plantation owner of 1866 talking to someone who used to work for him for free: interrupting Guiterrez every few seconds and sadly inpeding the flow not only of what Guiterrez was saying, but Buchanan’s own cause. I’d expect this kind of 10-year old at the dinner table antic from Buchanan to have been precluded before the program began. There should have been ground rules established by Russert or the show’s director before the “ON AIR” light went on in the studio. Perhaps Russert assumed Buchanan knew how civil discourse should be conducted. If so, now we know, Russert was mistaken.

There was some talk, mostly on “This Week with George the Greek,” of starting over with a new bill. No one considered how the only hope for fixing the illegal immigration situation is to understand that in its current form — to heck with specific contents for a minute — it is going nowhere, which is just what big business and their illegal allies picking crops int he fields want to happen.

The pontificating power elete, and the legal citizens of the USA should remember the words of every overpaid executive who says, “I earn this much money because that’s what it takes to ensure the success of this enterprise. No one in my league will work for less. They pay me what I demand for my services. It may seem a lot to Wal-Mart sales associates with no medical and dental coverage, but it’s the board of directors who sets my salary. They can cut it also.”

The legal United States citizen should set his and her price for picking tomatoes. How do they do that? They don’t. The produce company does. How do it do that? Instead of $6.50 an hour for legal citizens of the USA, let the Acme Tomato company advertise “field respresentative” positions for $14.00 per hour with medical and dental plans included. If no legal citizens of the USA line up for those jobs, raise the rate to $18.00 and keep going until the rate, established by corporations based in the US, find the true wage for which legal US citizens will pick lettuce. The method is successful for presidents of colleges, coaches, non-profit executive directors and money managers. It should apply to lawn care specialists, roofers, and convenience store counter workers as well.

The bill set to return to congress is tatamount to teaching 100 blindfolded six year olds to march 100 feet to the ice cream store and then to the playground next door and then to the bus in four neat colums, each 25 people long. No matter.how hard you try, someone’s always going to be out of line. The reasons why are easy to understand. Even though they have a good idea where the ice cream store is — they saw it briefly before the blindfolds went on — having a general idea of where it is and there getting there with 99 of your associates isn’t easy. In addition, it’s hard to march in step when someone on your right just bumped into you and you stepped on the ankle of the person in front of you. You are not cognizant of others’ intentions. And while going where you think you want to go, you’re upsetting others in your rank and file.

Cutting to the chase . . . . The existing bill has too many elements in it, and that is because it tries to address too many concerns at once. Solution: reduce the omni-directional (everything at once) approach to nuggets that can be digested and “passed” individually. Some say the most pressing issue is stopping the hiring of illegal aliens. Okay. Do we all agree to that? Do most of us agree? If we do, let’s write a law that corrects current flaws in that part of the system. If we don’t agree, let’s stay in committee until priorities, five or six basic elements in the flawed current system are identified and individually targeted for new laws. Fix one problem at a time. Do this in committee hearings which permit testimony from all sectors of private legal citizenry and governmental agencies concerned. No testimony should be considered from groups representing illegal aliens any more than national security committees should consider testimony from convicted terrorists: like what’s the point? HELLO? Do THEY have a dog in this hunt (as Bill Clinton might say)? Shucks NO.

Before Congress wastes another minute of their time by considering all the yarns rolled into one giant knot, let’s begin with a new rope, using shorter lengths which can be worked relatively easily without getting tangled, and which in the final result, will fix the problem. What do you say, Congress? What do YOU say, reader?

Live long . . . . . and proper.