No Frills Airline Service Slated for Springfield, Illinois

Great news for Springfield residents who would rather take a taxi to St. Louis Lambert Airport so they don’t have to fly from Abraham Lincoln Capital Airport: starting soon, you can fly to Lambert as inexpensively and almost as fast. Officials are reluctant to release the name of the airline, and when questioned recently, seemed disinclined to set a time table for its service introduction to our community. The new service is certain to be popular with Wal-Mart shoppers and true Americans who enjoy the scent of cod liver oil in their clothes.

Observers note the airplane is based on an airplane design created initially to be a bomber our air force will be buying in a few years. The cost of the airplanes meshes the national defense budget we can afford after the coming tax cuts and new wars which also aren’t going to happen. “We will fight those wars — which we aren’t going to have (nudge-nudge, wink-wink) with the air force we can afford; not what whining Libras would rather have,” one defense secretary explained. “Once we prove this airplane in civilian airline use, its use for offensive purposes is not only a darn sweet idea for this administration, it will be cost-effective, especially after the additional tax cuts and closures of more veterans’ hospitals.”

Thanks to Barry Tempest for the picture! 

Live long . . . . . and proper.